Pride and Projection

This whole week, I have been musing over a question (big surprise): If Jesus were here on Earth today, would he want to come hang out with me?  Kind of a random question but it has really been bothering me all week.  I was having difficulty wrapping my head around the concept of God's love for me.  I know that He loves us- so much that he gave his life for us, in fact.  But the thing is, He didn't necessarily die for ME, He died for all of humanity.  Now, I am obviously included in this, but my heart and mind were darkened by the question: was the sacrifice of Jesus merely a professional courtesy so that he can save everyone, and then pay special attention to certain people that he happens to enjoy more than others?  It sounds so bizarre that I feel dumb writing it out here, but dumb or not, that's what was going on in my heart all week.

I envisioned it going something like this:

Jesus:  Whew!  Glad that's over!  You doing ok there Matt?  The process of salvation is pretty cool huh?

Me:  Yeah, no kidding!  Thanks for saving me and junk.  You wanna go grab some Taco Bell?

Jesus:  Ohhh shoot man, I would but um.....I totally promised Moses I'd help him put some new rims on his chariot today.

Me:  Oh ok....well, uhh you maybe want to do something after that?

Jesus:  Look bro, there's billions of souls that all want to hang with me.  I gave you my Spirit, isn't that good enough?  I mean I'm living inside you all the time... I don't want to hurt your feelings or anything but Joe Schmoe over there is really doing some sweet stuff in my name.  What have you done lately that you just can't wait any longer?  Quite frankly, I just find it more refreshing to hang out with Joe...he's not so needy you know?  Now run along and shoot me a prayer later if something sweet comes up.

Me:  Yeah ok...well...see you around I guess...


I KNOW!!  It's a majorly flawed representation.  Don't sue me.  I hammed it up a bit too for comedic effect, but in a less extreme way, I was actually envisioning something along those lines.

It seems silly, but I think that many of us, whether new or old Christians can have a flawed perception of God and who he really is.  Some people see God as an Angry Judging God who sits on the legal bench watching surveillance footage of us messing up just waiting to throw a lightning bolt at us at the first sign of weakness.
Others may see God as a Peaceful Old Grandpa God who sits in his heavenly rocking chair and beacons us to come sit on his lap and tell us all about how hard our life is so that he can kiss our boo-boos and make us feel good about ourselves.
Or you can be like me and envision a Disinterested Bro God who, even though at the end of the day he cares about you, would rather hang out with someone cooler than you and doesn't really want to hear about your day.

Or it could be something else altogether.  What, exactly, your picture of God is isn't the point.  The point is that, at some point along the way, we project ourselves onto God and turn Him, in our mind's eye, into something less than He really is.  How arrogant and proud!

Lately, I've been struggling with how to love individuals that I am less than fond of.  I think I took that struggle in my soul and projected it onto my image of God.  As if God's love can be limited in some way.  And the real tragedy about it is that I turned God into a Prideful God.  But pride, is intrinsically opposed to the very nature of God.  For the very nature of God is love, and love is the opposite of pride.  (It is appropriate to note, at this point, that God can, should, and does value Himself above all else- but this is not what we call the sin of Pride.  It is because he values Himself above us that he can have love for us- because his love for us enables us to know him and bring Him the Glory due his name).

And now we have come full circle!  What began as a thought exercise examining the nature of God on a philosophical level has led us to examine our own hearts and realize how sinful they are if left to their own devices.  And isn't that just what we should expect?  I have talked in previous posts about how God calls us to perfection.  A lot of people (again projecting themselves on God rather than allowing Him to project Himself on them) think that this means "Unless you are perfect, I will not help you."  What He really meant, I think, is more to the effect of "the only help I will give is help to become perfect."

In case you can't tell from my previous posts, I'm a C.S. Lewis fanatic.  Again, Mr. Lewis has the perfect words to say here:
"Dozens of people go to [God] to be cured of some particular sin which they are ashamed of (like masturbation or cowardice) or which is obviously spoiling daily life (like a bad temper or drunkenness).  Well, He will cure it all right: but He will not stop there.  That may be all you asked; but if once you call Him in, He will give you the full treatment."

Like a father looking on at his baby's first steps, he is pleased with us.  But no father would be satisfied if the same child, when he was 20 years old, was still crawling everywhere instead of walking upright like a man.  Hence, He will always bring us to a place where he hears our questions and answers them with a question of his own that exposes our hearts and helps us on the path towards the perfection that he has planned for us so that one day we will stand before him and hear "well done good and faithful servant."

For me, I know there is much pride in my heart that I need to repent of and replace with humility and compassion for others.  Whatever it is for you, my reader, know that you are not alone; until the last day we will struggle side by side.  And God is not disinterested- he is supremely interested and he will not stop until you become the kind of creature that can obey the command "Be perfect, therefore, as your Heavenly Father is perfect."

"The Lord your God is with you.  He is mighty to save.  He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing." (Zephaniah 3:17)