Spring break is officially over and now six more weeks of unceasing agony await me in the form of statistics homework and sociological research lectures. But to be honest, I'm glad to be back at school. While I was certainly glad of the opportunity to take a break from class, I realized that I just need the structure of life in Ames to be productive. My spring break consisted mostly of video games (beat Mass Effect 3!!) and the consumption of large amounts of cream soda. I went to the Wisconsin Dells for a few days with my two brothers and my dad, but even that seemed boring after a few hours- you can only float on the lazy river for so long before you begin to think that maybe life has more to offer.
But I think the biggest disappointment for me was in my poor pursuit of God over break. Going into break, I was in a great place with my spiritual life, but almost as soon as I set foot in my house, I suddenly lost motivation to pick up my bible, to seek God, and to demonstrate a transformed life with my attitude when I was around both my family, and my brother's non-believing friends.
Honestly, it had me really bummed out for a while. I can always see a huge difference in my attitude when I am seeking Jesus and when I am not. I was disappointed in my failings- before break, I was so on fire and dedicated to living a life of non-compromise in all areas. Well, without going into too much detail, I definitely compromised in some areas. I found myself in a bit of a limbo- I felt dirty and unusable by God to achieve anything for his Kingdom. I was paralyzed by my failure and I was unsure what to do.
Tonight when I met up with my connection group for bible study, I found that pretty much everyone had the same experience as I did, hence this blog post. In dealing with failure, a biblical perspective, as always, can illuminate the path forward.
A great example of moving forward after failure is the story of Achan in Joshua 7. Israel is currently on the path to the Promised Land and they have to eliminate some of their military enemies that get in their way. After their epic defeat of Jericho, they come up against the people of Ai. Expecting another victory, the Israelites attack with a small force which is totally decimated. Joshua, their leader, is confused. Isn't God on their side? Unbeknownst to him, a soldier (Achan) had taken some of the plunder from Jericho that was supposed to be set aside for God and so God's favor was no longer with the Israelites.
To say that Joshua is a little bummed out is an understatement: he rips his clothes, throws himself face down on the ground, and wails before God. But God comes into the picture very matter-of-factly and says:
Stand up! What are you doing down on your face? Israel has sinned; they have violated my covenant, which I commanded them to keep. They have taken some of the devoted things; they have stolen, they have lied, they have put them with their own possessions. That is why the Israelites cannot stand against their enemies; they turn their backs and run because they have been made liable to destruction. I will not be with you anymore unless you destroy whatever among you is devoted to destruction...O Israel, you cannot stand against your enemies until you remove it.
(Joshua 7: 10-13)
It's a simple formula. Quit whining and lying on the ground helplessly- repent, get the sin out, and then get right back on the path you were on before! In the very next chapter, after the people deal with their sin, God says:
"Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged...for I have delivered into your hands the king of Ai." (Joshua 8:1)
When you fail, renew your commitments and maybe even make some new ones. But be sure to add this stipulation: 'if I fail, I will not mope around in despair; I will encourage my heart in God's mercy, repent, and start up again." Future life is too precious, the possibilities for joy too many to be paralyzed by the past.
God has a great love for you. So maybe you are reading this and you also had a bummer of a break. Well, it's over now so get back on track! Or maybe you had a great break and you have nothing you need to overcome. You are in a unique position to encourage and help those brothers or sisters around you who maybe were not so fortunate. James says "therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective." (James 5:16)
Ultimately, God will get the glory due his name. How fortunate for us that he is a merciful God and renews his mercy every morning for us. We will always face failure in this life to some degree until we die and are resurrected with our new and perfect bodies at the world's end. Until that day, we must struggle on and set our eyes on Jesus, the only one who lived a perfect life, as our example and humbly repent and move on when we mess up.
Here's to the rest of the semester being filled with the power of the Holy Spirit moving in his children for his Glory!
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