I am done with classes for the week. Lectures were boring and homework was tedious but I did it. Now if you know me well, you will know that the last two sentences should blow your mind; not only did I attend class but I did all my homework (ahead of schedule too I might add)!! I have traditionally struggled with this in the past. Lectures were skipped in order to take a nap and homework was occasionally simply thrown away before I even attempted it. Does that make me a horrible student? Well obviously. So why is there this burning desire in me to succeed all of a sudden in my last semester of school? I'm not even kidding when I say that I legitimately want to do homework and read all 5 of my really boring books on the sociological theory of white collar crime.
What is going on here?? I have never identified with the "good student" who strives to get good grades before. I've always relied on my good test taking skills, a small amount of intelligence, and smooth talking my professors to pass my classes. If you're looking for tips on academic success you're reading the wrong blog.
I have, however, identified with other things in the past. I identify with the church. Almost all of my friends go to The Salt Company (the college ministry I go to at ISU) and I spend lots of time devoted to being a leader in that area. So am I a Church Guy? Maybe, but let's examine some other areas I identify with.
I also identify with the military. After all, I am a "warrior and a member of a team" or so I'm told. I see my peers in ROTC everyday and I like them. When we're together I am prone to tailor my attitude and speech to reflect the environment that I'm in. I speak the military jargon (aka tons of acronyms that no one outside of the Army understands) and I'll yell at an underclassman if he does something wrong in true military fashion. So am I an Army Guy? Maybe...
I behave differently in different circumstances so much that my friends even gave me my own alter ego! They have affectionately termed my "other me" Pat Maulsen. Supposedly, anytime that I do anything even slightly socially deviant, Pat has come out to play. This covers a broad variety of situations including but not limited to:
-any time I have had any alcohol
-when I haven't had enough sleep
-when I just wake up and am still groggy
-when I say anything that can be construed as "sassy" (which is about 50% of everything that I say)
So I am faced with an identity crisis! Can I combine them all and say that I'm a Moral-Army-Study-Sassy- Guy? I think that all these different identities unearth a problem that is certainly not unique to me, namely that I tend to divide life in to neat little categories and keep them separate from eachother.
At Salt Company last night, Drew pointed out that this is essentially the same problem that the Corinthian church had in the day of Paul: they lost sight of their true identity. Speaking to the Corinthians on this issue, Paul says:
"Brothers, think of what you were when you were called. Not many of you were wise by human standards; not many were influential; not many were of noble birth. But God chose the foolish things of this world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things- the things that are not- to nullify the things that are so that no one may boast before him. It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus who has become for us wisdom from God- that is our righteousness, holiness, and redemption."
What he is saying is that for Christians, Jesus is our identity. So what does that mean? Do I have to give up my other identities and become Super Church Guy??
Thankfully, no. In fact Jesus hated super church guys and the morally self-righteous. Having an identity in Jesus means that he is my unifying identity. All these other aspects of my life still exist and I can't just give them up and be a "Jesus Freak" (in the weird, in your face, let-me-spit-on-you-to-heal-you sense of the term). What it does mean is that Jesus brings all my identities together and redeems them. So where I was once Lazy Guy, I become Wants To Do His Homework Guy.
If you read my first post, you may remember the verse in Ezekiel where God promises to "remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh." Get it yet? That's a new heart with new desires! You no longer want to do anything that gives Jesus a bad name BECAUSE HE IS YOUR UNIFYING IDENTITY! And this is all encompassing- the unifying identity of Jesus covers all of your sub-identities.
So what are your identities? Are you Moral Guy? Party Guy? Good Grades Guy? Well Jesus wants you to be Jesus Guy. He wants you to surrender your desires to him so that he can give you life and righteousness. If you are not a Christian, you are not reading this my mere coincidence. This may be the moment of your calling. If you are already a Christian, remember who you are!
As for me, I hope to continually surrender myself in all areas: financial, school, health, relationships, etc. I have forgotten this truth: all of life is spiritual. Don't categorize your life and remember that the only one who will never face an identity crisis is Jesus.
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