In a medium like a blog, there is a certain amount of thought that goes into every post. How much of my life do I write about? What should be kept private? Will this or that story make me look bad? Do I get real deep or will that turn readers off? I think that in the end people want authenticity- it seems to be the catchphrase of my generation. I'm not really bothered about making myself look good because that's not really me...I'm not good so why should I try and make my online image into something false?
Last night Pat Maulsen made a surprise appearance! I really hadn't had an outstanding week overall and I was just looking to let loose a bit so after my roommates and I got back home after our roommate date (sound gay? we're from Muscatine....deal with it) I consumed way more than the recommended amount of alcohol for the evening. It turns out that when I'm drunk, I think at 1000mph. I dominated a chess match with one of my roommates even though I took an average of 1 second for each move....that is until I accidentally knocked all the pieces over :(. I also tackled my roommate Kyle into a wall and made a big old hole :(.
But one of the defining qualities of Draulsen (drunk Paulsen) is that there is no filter. This is not surprising- many drunks experience this. Being intoxicated is like having truth serum- what I say may not always make total sense but it is without a doubt what I believe.
During the course of the night I at some point confessed to my roommates that I hate my life. I want to articulate that a bit further right now. I will be brutally honest. It's true- I hate my life. Does that surprise you? I have a lot to be thankful for. I have a good and loving family, plenty of friends, good health, good opportunities, and even though I am not rich by American standards I am by comparison one of the richest people in the world. What's to hate?
The answer lies inward. My dissatisfaction lies not so much with my outward circumstances as with who I am fundamentally. In moments of truest clarity when I turn the lens of introspection on myself, I see me just as I am:
Rude. Disrespectful. Violent. Arrogant. Prideful. Angry. Weak. My life is a sham from beginning to end. When you peel back the layers of who I am and examine me you will be most disappointed in what you find if your expectation was to find an upstanding young man with any sort of virtue. If you could somehow put a hidden camera in my mind for just one day and watch all my hidden thoughts you would be disgusted at my mental treatment of others. When I am honest and look at my life, I see that at the core there is nothing worthwhile. I'm sick. I have the seemingly incurable malady of being human.
So what is the point of all this? What is the practical result of such harsh introspection? In my case, it is what led me to Jesus. I think that this is exactly what Jesus had in mind when he said "If anyone comes to me and does not hate his father and mother, his wife and children, his brothers and sisters- yes, even his own life- he cannot be my disciple. And anyone who does not carry his cross and follow me cannot be my disciple." (Luke 14:26-27)
Jesus knows that we all suffer from the effect of sin. He knows each of us and is not fooled by our outward appearance of goodness- he sees the sickness of humanity. That is why he also said "It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. Go and learn what this means: 'I desire mercy, not sacrifice.' For I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners." (Matthew 9:12)
No one who loves this life will be able to metaphorically and spiritually "put themselves to death" in the way Jesus demands of his followers. That is really the irony of being alive- in order to achieve true life, you have to die. Again, Jesus illustrates this point: "The man who loves his life will lose it, while the man who hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life."
Jesus will save you from yourself. Before, we were looking at my life under the lens of introspection. But God will look at my life through the lens of Jesus' blood. No longer will I receive condemnation for I have been adopted as an heir in the Eternal Kingdom.
Examine yourself. Peel back the layers that you put in place so that the world will look favorably on you. See your sin and your inability to escape from your very nature- the proclivity to go on sinning. Then repent and turn to Jesus. You will find yourself in the embrace of an Almighty God who will never let you go and who will give you a new heart, new desires, and a new life. And even when you fail (like I did last night by getting drunk) you can remember that "his mercies are made new each morning" and take comfort in His mercy.
Cheers.
Sunday, January 29, 2012
Sunday, January 22, 2012
Confessions of a Closet Nerd
I'm going to throw this out there......I am a huge nerd. This may come to some (read: none) of you as a surprise but I can't help my true feelings! Ever since I was a little kid and my mom forced me to read books she borrowed from the library for me every week, I have had a strange fascination with all things fantastical and imaginary. I have always loved to just sit and imagine worlds that exist beyond the one that I live in. Practically speaking, this resulted in a love of Star Wars, Lord of the Rings, Chronicles of Narnia, and a whole host of video games that catered to my love of expansive imaginary worlds. I loved (and still love) playing such games as Mass Effect- a space epic where you can explore the galaxy and Final Fantasy- a far reaching series that introduced me to a love of airships, magic spells, and incredible mythical creatures just to name a few. But my ALL TIME FAVORITE video game to date has got to be the recently released Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim. It has everything you could ever want to keep a nerd happy for literally weeks on end. You fight dragons, learn spells, join guilds of fighters or thieves or mages, and you have total creative freedom to do whatever you want within the game world.
My brother got Skyrim for Christmas last month and before I came back to school, I played it religiously every night. I was totally enthralled. One feature which I really liked was the ability to learn "shouts." In the world of Skyrim, shouts are words of power spoken in the language of dragons which grants you special abilities depending on which shout you use (one shout may give you the ability to breathe fire while another may slow time down for example). You learn these shouts by attaining "words of power" which are found in caves and dungeons scattered around the world. These words are supposedly how dragons do battle- so when you are fighting a dragon you are essentially having a literal shouting match with him when you both breathe fire on each other. New evidence may shed some light on the validity of these shouts:
The concept of using words to battle is very interesting to me. Even though we cannot (or at least I cannot) use my spoken words to breathe fire on anybody, in a way, this concept is not far off from real life. I suppose it is that "almost real" flavor that makes it so intriguing. It doesn't take a huge leap to say that in real life, words can be just as damaging as breathing fire on someone. I personally know that I have a very unfortunate tendency to let my words be damaging.
Ever since I was little, I have had a natural bent towards speaking my mind. Unfortunately, my mind is naturally full of hateful, hurtful, unhelpful things so when I speak my mind, those are the things that tend to spill out. Before I came to know Jesus, I was so convoluted in my thinking that I actually viewed that as a good thing: I thought that speaking my mind showed that I was brave- that it showed a lack of fear. Of course other people unwittingly supported this view. To illustrate, I will share a story from highschool that I am not very proud of.
My sophomore year, I was in an english class with a teacher that I did not like. In my opinion, she was not a very good teacher, nor was she worthy of any real respect. In my infinite 15 year old wisdom, I decided to assert my dominance over this woman at every possible opportunity. That meant that on a regular basis I would speak up in class at inappropriate moments to chime in with rude, disrespectful comments in an effort to undermine her authority and legitimacy in front of the whole class. This continued for some time until it climaxed in The Speech. We had an assignment where we were supposed to give a speech on a person who was inspirational to us. I was having trouble coming up with someone I wanted to talk about so the kid sitting next to me offered to pay me $5 if I did my speech on the teacher. Challenge accepted! The next week, with no notes and minimal preparation, I stood up in front of the class and gave a stirring speech on all of our english teacher's shortcomings- making sure that I paid special attention to the things that really didn't prove my point, such as her fro and strange choice in men. To my credit, it really wasn't a bad speech- I enunciated well, made eye contact, and eliminated unneeded "umms." News of my speech spread quickly among my peers- most of whom actually affirmed my decision! (As one classmate noted, I had just proven that I had "balls of steel"). When I go back home for breaks, I can still find people that remember that incident. And this was, unfortunately, not a unique incident- I made a bit of a reputation for myself as a kid who had no respect for authority.
The truth is that this is actually a pretty tame example of the way in which words can be used to damage others. At least there was a small element of humor in the way that I presented my speech, wrong though it may have been. I have to confess that my tongue is a weapon which I have unleashed far too often on people. I have made people cry with the things that I have said. I've made my own mother cry more times than I can count on both of my hands over the course of my life. Even some of my closest friends, I have wounded deeply with the things that I have said. Almost all of my greatest regrets in life stem directly from the things that I have said to people.
Just reliving those moments in my mind breaks my heart now. The time when I told my dad that I hated him. The times when, I've said something rude and hurtful to every single one of the men and women that I consider to be my closest friends (some more hurtful than others). My spirit cries out in anguish and regret when I relive those moments and I wish to God that I could take back the things I've said.
And I know that I am not alone. I see the way others cut down the people around them with their words. The apostle James spoke rightly when he said that "the tongue is a restless evil, full of deadly poison." Who among us can control their tongues perfectly? No one! Even the people who are naturally full of grace and rarely speak hurtful words slip up occasionally. And even the most self-controlled among us can't hope to ever tame their thoughts. Evil, hurtful thoughts rise unbidden to the forefront of our minds every day. Even if you don't act on them, it infects your soul and your heart with hatred. Our depraved natures are revealed by our speech. Jesus said that "the good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For out of the overflow of his heart his mouth speaks"(Luke 6:45). In addition, he also told us that "all men will have to give an account on the day of judgement for every careless word they have spoken" (Matthew 12:36, emphasis mine). For Christians the standard is to be perfect in word, thought, and deed. An impossible standard to say the least- I can't even begin to count all the careless words I've spoken. That is why we cling so tightly to Jesus- the only man to ever live perfectly in word, thought, and deed.
As Christians, we need to live regenerated lives. This includes our speech. Although not all of us are naturally grace-filled (like me), we must try and make an effort to speak lovingly. This doesn't mean that we always talk lovey-dovey talk to each other- there is a time and a place for hard words. But this does mean that we season our speech with grace, not seeking to tear anyone down but rather seeking to build each other up. On this point, I would like to give a shout out to my roommate Justin. At the end of last semester, he made a commitment to only saying nice things. This is quite a challenge for anyone, but especially someone who lives with a bunch of people who use sarcasm and point out people's flaws as a catalyst for their humor. I have to say that so far, he has done a pretty good job of staying true to that commitment. Obviously, there will be slip ups- as we concluded earlier, no one is perfect. I would challenge all of my readers to try and do that themselves. I know seeing Justin attempt to live that out in my life has convicted me and made me want to challenge myself in this area.
Always remember that the power of your voice is very real. Your DO have "words of power" at your disposal. You have the power to ruin or make someone's day. Truly the power of life and death. You can literally change destinies and lives with your voice alone. For me, this will be a life long struggle. Graceful words do not come easily to me. But I desire to please Jesus more than I desire to please myself and I am confident that by God's grace through the power of His Spirit, I will be able to make progress and so will you!
My brother got Skyrim for Christmas last month and before I came back to school, I played it religiously every night. I was totally enthralled. One feature which I really liked was the ability to learn "shouts." In the world of Skyrim, shouts are words of power spoken in the language of dragons which grants you special abilities depending on which shout you use (one shout may give you the ability to breathe fire while another may slow time down for example). You learn these shouts by attaining "words of power" which are found in caves and dungeons scattered around the world. These words are supposedly how dragons do battle- so when you are fighting a dragon you are essentially having a literal shouting match with him when you both breathe fire on each other. New evidence may shed some light on the validity of these shouts:
The concept of using words to battle is very interesting to me. Even though we cannot (or at least I cannot) use my spoken words to breathe fire on anybody, in a way, this concept is not far off from real life. I suppose it is that "almost real" flavor that makes it so intriguing. It doesn't take a huge leap to say that in real life, words can be just as damaging as breathing fire on someone. I personally know that I have a very unfortunate tendency to let my words be damaging.
Ever since I was little, I have had a natural bent towards speaking my mind. Unfortunately, my mind is naturally full of hateful, hurtful, unhelpful things so when I speak my mind, those are the things that tend to spill out. Before I came to know Jesus, I was so convoluted in my thinking that I actually viewed that as a good thing: I thought that speaking my mind showed that I was brave- that it showed a lack of fear. Of course other people unwittingly supported this view. To illustrate, I will share a story from highschool that I am not very proud of.
My sophomore year, I was in an english class with a teacher that I did not like. In my opinion, she was not a very good teacher, nor was she worthy of any real respect. In my infinite 15 year old wisdom, I decided to assert my dominance over this woman at every possible opportunity. That meant that on a regular basis I would speak up in class at inappropriate moments to chime in with rude, disrespectful comments in an effort to undermine her authority and legitimacy in front of the whole class. This continued for some time until it climaxed in The Speech. We had an assignment where we were supposed to give a speech on a person who was inspirational to us. I was having trouble coming up with someone I wanted to talk about so the kid sitting next to me offered to pay me $5 if I did my speech on the teacher. Challenge accepted! The next week, with no notes and minimal preparation, I stood up in front of the class and gave a stirring speech on all of our english teacher's shortcomings- making sure that I paid special attention to the things that really didn't prove my point, such as her fro and strange choice in men. To my credit, it really wasn't a bad speech- I enunciated well, made eye contact, and eliminated unneeded "umms." News of my speech spread quickly among my peers- most of whom actually affirmed my decision! (As one classmate noted, I had just proven that I had "balls of steel"). When I go back home for breaks, I can still find people that remember that incident. And this was, unfortunately, not a unique incident- I made a bit of a reputation for myself as a kid who had no respect for authority.
The truth is that this is actually a pretty tame example of the way in which words can be used to damage others. At least there was a small element of humor in the way that I presented my speech, wrong though it may have been. I have to confess that my tongue is a weapon which I have unleashed far too often on people. I have made people cry with the things that I have said. I've made my own mother cry more times than I can count on both of my hands over the course of my life. Even some of my closest friends, I have wounded deeply with the things that I have said. Almost all of my greatest regrets in life stem directly from the things that I have said to people.
Just reliving those moments in my mind breaks my heart now. The time when I told my dad that I hated him. The times when, I've said something rude and hurtful to every single one of the men and women that I consider to be my closest friends (some more hurtful than others). My spirit cries out in anguish and regret when I relive those moments and I wish to God that I could take back the things I've said.
And I know that I am not alone. I see the way others cut down the people around them with their words. The apostle James spoke rightly when he said that "the tongue is a restless evil, full of deadly poison." Who among us can control their tongues perfectly? No one! Even the people who are naturally full of grace and rarely speak hurtful words slip up occasionally. And even the most self-controlled among us can't hope to ever tame their thoughts. Evil, hurtful thoughts rise unbidden to the forefront of our minds every day. Even if you don't act on them, it infects your soul and your heart with hatred. Our depraved natures are revealed by our speech. Jesus said that "the good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For out of the overflow of his heart his mouth speaks"(Luke 6:45). In addition, he also told us that "all men will have to give an account on the day of judgement for every careless word they have spoken" (Matthew 12:36, emphasis mine). For Christians the standard is to be perfect in word, thought, and deed. An impossible standard to say the least- I can't even begin to count all the careless words I've spoken. That is why we cling so tightly to Jesus- the only man to ever live perfectly in word, thought, and deed.
As Christians, we need to live regenerated lives. This includes our speech. Although not all of us are naturally grace-filled (like me), we must try and make an effort to speak lovingly. This doesn't mean that we always talk lovey-dovey talk to each other- there is a time and a place for hard words. But this does mean that we season our speech with grace, not seeking to tear anyone down but rather seeking to build each other up. On this point, I would like to give a shout out to my roommate Justin. At the end of last semester, he made a commitment to only saying nice things. This is quite a challenge for anyone, but especially someone who lives with a bunch of people who use sarcasm and point out people's flaws as a catalyst for their humor. I have to say that so far, he has done a pretty good job of staying true to that commitment. Obviously, there will be slip ups- as we concluded earlier, no one is perfect. I would challenge all of my readers to try and do that themselves. I know seeing Justin attempt to live that out in my life has convicted me and made me want to challenge myself in this area.
Always remember that the power of your voice is very real. Your DO have "words of power" at your disposal. You have the power to ruin or make someone's day. Truly the power of life and death. You can literally change destinies and lives with your voice alone. For me, this will be a life long struggle. Graceful words do not come easily to me. But I desire to please Jesus more than I desire to please myself and I am confident that by God's grace through the power of His Spirit, I will be able to make progress and so will you!
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
Pat Maulsen Learns to Salsa
After one week of classes, it is quickly becoming evident what my favorite classes are and which are the ones I have to struggle to stay awake in. As of right now I'd have to say that my least favorite class is SOC 302: Research Methodologies in Sociology. I mean....just the name sounds boring! On the other hand, my favorite class so far is the only one that I'm taking this semester that isn't required for graduation: Dance 160.
This is an introduction to various social dances. We are currently learning how to Salsa and we will eventually be learning a variety of other dances such as the Waltz and the Foxtrot. I like this class for several reasons. 1) What other situation am I ever going to be in where dancing with cute girls is not just an option but a requirement? 2) I find dancing to be very enjoyable even though I'm not very good at it yet. 3) It is a good break from the norm and monotony of regular class.
I want to focus in on the last two reasons (maybe I'll blog my thoughts about number 1 someday soon). First of all, I can hardly believe that the phrase "I find dancing to be very enjoyable" has ever escaped my lips. This is a testament to how different I am now as opposed to when I was in high school. It wasn't until very recently that I would ever be caught dead on a dance floor. In high school, I skipped out on all the school dances because it made me feel incredibly awkward and frankly- I was just too self conscious. After all, I had an image of a stoic, sullen young teenager to uphold and dancing somehow didn't seem to fit into that mold. I really can't pinpoint a specific incident that changed my attitude towards dancing but once I finally manned up and gave it a try, it was really liberating. I think the secret to not feeling stupid about my dance moves (which would be a reasonable thing to feel about them if you've ever watched me bust a move) is to simply look around and realize that 95% of everyone else out there with me looks just as bad if not worse. That knowledge alone can really catapult you to the next level of dance mastery!
Second and more important is the fact that this class provides a break from the norm. For 50 minutes every Tuesday and Thursday, I can forget about all the stupid readings on sociological research I have to do. I can push aside in my mind the fact that I forgot to pay the meter and I'll most likely have a parking ticket when I get back to my car. I am able to put all of that on the back burner, take my partner by the hand, and have fun entering into a mutually awkward dancing relationship with them.
In true Matt Paulsen fashion, I think that this raises an interesting philosophical question. Why do we need breaks (dance or otherwise) in our lives? After all, not even the most hardcore among us can go on living at a breakneck pace for the entirety of their existence. At some point we have to pause and rest. And I'm not talking about literal rest as in sleeping. I mean that we have to get away from the reality of life and do something to help us recover.
I'm going to postulate a theory which may not sit well with some of you and for others it will make perfect sense. Ready? Here it is: Life Sucks.
Wow. "That sure is pessimistic of you to say Pat Maulsen" you may say. But just follow me for minute. Think of your life, whoever you are. What are the elements that compose it? This should directly tie into my last post on your identity (you are what you do). I will use my life as an example and examine my 3 main sub-identities. 1) Christian 2) Cadet 3) Student.
The student one is easy to tear apart. I have to spend hours at a time working to learn things that I don't really have a whole lot of interest in learning (like statistics for example). That sucks. It burns me out because I am using my time and energy to do something that I am not passionate about. Admittedly, there are a lot of things that I DO want to learn and, indeed, enjoy learning. But generally I accomplish that on my own time outside of school.
The cadet is also easy to tear apart. No one really wants to be awake at 0530 to workout before school even starts. Plus there's plenty to dislike about a bureaucratic system with an inflexible chain of command and a culture that encourages all the wrong ideas about masculinity (real men cuss and yell like hell and generally make life difficult for anyone that gets in their way).
Even what I consider to be my number one identity has plenty of stuff to get me down. As a leader in the Salt Company, I have to deal with the problems that come with it. I have to deal with people's problems (and believe me, there are many- everyone is broken in some way). I have to deal with the people who say they want to live a life like Christ but then don't follow up on that statement with action and continue to live for themselves. And, of course, I have to be constantly on the watch against myself- I have to make an attempt to practice what I preach and that's hard as balls!
And you can apply this to anything. A vast majority of Americans are dissatisfied with their jobs. People live in broken relationships with each other: friends fight, children rebel, co-workers gossip, neighbors nag, and on and on. Debt, disease, and death kill joy and destroy lives every day. Day in and day out we (people in general, and Americans in particular) have a tendency to work jobs we don't like to spend money we don't have to buy things we don't need so that we can impress people we don't like! Who can live in this broken world and not need a break?
And that, ladies and gents, is the world we live in: fundamentally flawed. For Christians, this makes us the ultimate oxymoron: a Pessimistic Optimist. Pessimistic Optimists (like me) believe that the world and all of humanity are not just flawed but evil by their very nature. That's the pessimistic part. The optimism comes from the surpassing hope that we have in the promises of Jesus. Jesus came to conquer and destroy Satan, sin, and death so that we can come into a loving relationship with him and allow him to "remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh." That's why we, as Christ followers, have a dedication to service. True followers of Jesus (which is a much smaller percent of the total of "professing" nominal Christians) desire to see the Kingdom of God come on earth. To that end, we do as Jesus did: loving the poor, having mercy on the broken hearted, preaching and teaching the word of God so that all might come to be the kind of Pessimistic Optimist that Jesus needs- one that knows that the evils of the world and its inhabitants will one day be judged and that justice will be done for all!
So, knowing what we know about the nature of the world, how can we justify going on doing things like learning to Salsa? Well, I think it's just part of God's common grace to all people. If there were no opportunity for things like dancing or watching a football game every now and then, we'd all go crazy! On this subject, the late apologist and author C.S. Lewis has some insight to offer from his book The Problem of Pain:
The Christian doctrine of suffering explains, I believe, a very curious fact about the world we live in. The settled happiness and security which we all desire, God withholds from us by the very nature of the world: but joy, pleasure, and merriment, He has scattered broadcast. We are never safe, but we have plenty of fun, and some ecstasy. It is not hard to see why. The security we crave would teach us to rest our hearts in this world and oppose an obstacle to our return to God: a few moments of happy love, a landscape, a symphony, a merry meeting with our friends, a bathe or a football match, have no such tendency. Our Father refreshes us on the journey with some pleasant inns, but will not encourage us to mistake them for home.
So carry on with your dancing my friends! Let us, like the Psalmist exclaim to God "You turned my mourning into dancing; you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy that my heart my sing to you and not be silent. O Lord my God, I will give you thanks forever!"
This is an introduction to various social dances. We are currently learning how to Salsa and we will eventually be learning a variety of other dances such as the Waltz and the Foxtrot. I like this class for several reasons. 1) What other situation am I ever going to be in where dancing with cute girls is not just an option but a requirement? 2) I find dancing to be very enjoyable even though I'm not very good at it yet. 3) It is a good break from the norm and monotony of regular class.
I want to focus in on the last two reasons (maybe I'll blog my thoughts about number 1 someday soon). First of all, I can hardly believe that the phrase "I find dancing to be very enjoyable" has ever escaped my lips. This is a testament to how different I am now as opposed to when I was in high school. It wasn't until very recently that I would ever be caught dead on a dance floor. In high school, I skipped out on all the school dances because it made me feel incredibly awkward and frankly- I was just too self conscious. After all, I had an image of a stoic, sullen young teenager to uphold and dancing somehow didn't seem to fit into that mold. I really can't pinpoint a specific incident that changed my attitude towards dancing but once I finally manned up and gave it a try, it was really liberating. I think the secret to not feeling stupid about my dance moves (which would be a reasonable thing to feel about them if you've ever watched me bust a move) is to simply look around and realize that 95% of everyone else out there with me looks just as bad if not worse. That knowledge alone can really catapult you to the next level of dance mastery!
Second and more important is the fact that this class provides a break from the norm. For 50 minutes every Tuesday and Thursday, I can forget about all the stupid readings on sociological research I have to do. I can push aside in my mind the fact that I forgot to pay the meter and I'll most likely have a parking ticket when I get back to my car. I am able to put all of that on the back burner, take my partner by the hand, and have fun entering into a mutually awkward dancing relationship with them.
In true Matt Paulsen fashion, I think that this raises an interesting philosophical question. Why do we need breaks (dance or otherwise) in our lives? After all, not even the most hardcore among us can go on living at a breakneck pace for the entirety of their existence. At some point we have to pause and rest. And I'm not talking about literal rest as in sleeping. I mean that we have to get away from the reality of life and do something to help us recover.
I'm going to postulate a theory which may not sit well with some of you and for others it will make perfect sense. Ready? Here it is: Life Sucks.
Wow. "That sure is pessimistic of you to say Pat Maulsen" you may say. But just follow me for minute. Think of your life, whoever you are. What are the elements that compose it? This should directly tie into my last post on your identity (you are what you do). I will use my life as an example and examine my 3 main sub-identities. 1) Christian 2) Cadet 3) Student.
The student one is easy to tear apart. I have to spend hours at a time working to learn things that I don't really have a whole lot of interest in learning (like statistics for example). That sucks. It burns me out because I am using my time and energy to do something that I am not passionate about. Admittedly, there are a lot of things that I DO want to learn and, indeed, enjoy learning. But generally I accomplish that on my own time outside of school.
The cadet is also easy to tear apart. No one really wants to be awake at 0530 to workout before school even starts. Plus there's plenty to dislike about a bureaucratic system with an inflexible chain of command and a culture that encourages all the wrong ideas about masculinity (real men cuss and yell like hell and generally make life difficult for anyone that gets in their way).
Even what I consider to be my number one identity has plenty of stuff to get me down. As a leader in the Salt Company, I have to deal with the problems that come with it. I have to deal with people's problems (and believe me, there are many- everyone is broken in some way). I have to deal with the people who say they want to live a life like Christ but then don't follow up on that statement with action and continue to live for themselves. And, of course, I have to be constantly on the watch against myself- I have to make an attempt to practice what I preach and that's hard as balls!
And you can apply this to anything. A vast majority of Americans are dissatisfied with their jobs. People live in broken relationships with each other: friends fight, children rebel, co-workers gossip, neighbors nag, and on and on. Debt, disease, and death kill joy and destroy lives every day. Day in and day out we (people in general, and Americans in particular) have a tendency to work jobs we don't like to spend money we don't have to buy things we don't need so that we can impress people we don't like! Who can live in this broken world and not need a break?
And that, ladies and gents, is the world we live in: fundamentally flawed. For Christians, this makes us the ultimate oxymoron: a Pessimistic Optimist. Pessimistic Optimists (like me) believe that the world and all of humanity are not just flawed but evil by their very nature. That's the pessimistic part. The optimism comes from the surpassing hope that we have in the promises of Jesus. Jesus came to conquer and destroy Satan, sin, and death so that we can come into a loving relationship with him and allow him to "remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh." That's why we, as Christ followers, have a dedication to service. True followers of Jesus (which is a much smaller percent of the total of "professing" nominal Christians) desire to see the Kingdom of God come on earth. To that end, we do as Jesus did: loving the poor, having mercy on the broken hearted, preaching and teaching the word of God so that all might come to be the kind of Pessimistic Optimist that Jesus needs- one that knows that the evils of the world and its inhabitants will one day be judged and that justice will be done for all!
So, knowing what we know about the nature of the world, how can we justify going on doing things like learning to Salsa? Well, I think it's just part of God's common grace to all people. If there were no opportunity for things like dancing or watching a football game every now and then, we'd all go crazy! On this subject, the late apologist and author C.S. Lewis has some insight to offer from his book The Problem of Pain:
The Christian doctrine of suffering explains, I believe, a very curious fact about the world we live in. The settled happiness and security which we all desire, God withholds from us by the very nature of the world: but joy, pleasure, and merriment, He has scattered broadcast. We are never safe, but we have plenty of fun, and some ecstasy. It is not hard to see why. The security we crave would teach us to rest our hearts in this world and oppose an obstacle to our return to God: a few moments of happy love, a landscape, a symphony, a merry meeting with our friends, a bathe or a football match, have no such tendency. Our Father refreshes us on the journey with some pleasant inns, but will not encourage us to mistake them for home.
So carry on with your dancing my friends! Let us, like the Psalmist exclaim to God "You turned my mourning into dancing; you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy that my heart my sing to you and not be silent. O Lord my God, I will give you thanks forever!"
Friday, January 13, 2012
Pat Maulsen Faces an Identity Crisis
I am done with classes for the week. Lectures were boring and homework was tedious but I did it. Now if you know me well, you will know that the last two sentences should blow your mind; not only did I attend class but I did all my homework (ahead of schedule too I might add)!! I have traditionally struggled with this in the past. Lectures were skipped in order to take a nap and homework was occasionally simply thrown away before I even attempted it. Does that make me a horrible student? Well obviously. So why is there this burning desire in me to succeed all of a sudden in my last semester of school? I'm not even kidding when I say that I legitimately want to do homework and read all 5 of my really boring books on the sociological theory of white collar crime.
What is going on here?? I have never identified with the "good student" who strives to get good grades before. I've always relied on my good test taking skills, a small amount of intelligence, and smooth talking my professors to pass my classes. If you're looking for tips on academic success you're reading the wrong blog.
I have, however, identified with other things in the past. I identify with the church. Almost all of my friends go to The Salt Company (the college ministry I go to at ISU) and I spend lots of time devoted to being a leader in that area. So am I a Church Guy? Maybe, but let's examine some other areas I identify with.
I also identify with the military. After all, I am a "warrior and a member of a team" or so I'm told. I see my peers in ROTC everyday and I like them. When we're together I am prone to tailor my attitude and speech to reflect the environment that I'm in. I speak the military jargon (aka tons of acronyms that no one outside of the Army understands) and I'll yell at an underclassman if he does something wrong in true military fashion. So am I an Army Guy? Maybe...
I behave differently in different circumstances so much that my friends even gave me my own alter ego! They have affectionately termed my "other me" Pat Maulsen. Supposedly, anytime that I do anything even slightly socially deviant, Pat has come out to play. This covers a broad variety of situations including but not limited to:
-any time I have had any alcohol
-when I haven't had enough sleep
-when I just wake up and am still groggy
-when I say anything that can be construed as "sassy" (which is about 50% of everything that I say)
So I am faced with an identity crisis! Can I combine them all and say that I'm a Moral-Army-Study-Sassy- Guy? I think that all these different identities unearth a problem that is certainly not unique to me, namely that I tend to divide life in to neat little categories and keep them separate from eachother.
At Salt Company last night, Drew pointed out that this is essentially the same problem that the Corinthian church had in the day of Paul: they lost sight of their true identity. Speaking to the Corinthians on this issue, Paul says:
"Brothers, think of what you were when you were called. Not many of you were wise by human standards; not many were influential; not many were of noble birth. But God chose the foolish things of this world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things- the things that are not- to nullify the things that are so that no one may boast before him. It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus who has become for us wisdom from God- that is our righteousness, holiness, and redemption."
What he is saying is that for Christians, Jesus is our identity. So what does that mean? Do I have to give up my other identities and become Super Church Guy??
Thankfully, no. In fact Jesus hated super church guys and the morally self-righteous. Having an identity in Jesus means that he is my unifying identity. All these other aspects of my life still exist and I can't just give them up and be a "Jesus Freak" (in the weird, in your face, let-me-spit-on-you-to-heal-you sense of the term). What it does mean is that Jesus brings all my identities together and redeems them. So where I was once Lazy Guy, I become Wants To Do His Homework Guy.
If you read my first post, you may remember the verse in Ezekiel where God promises to "remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh." Get it yet? That's a new heart with new desires! You no longer want to do anything that gives Jesus a bad name BECAUSE HE IS YOUR UNIFYING IDENTITY! And this is all encompassing- the unifying identity of Jesus covers all of your sub-identities.
So what are your identities? Are you Moral Guy? Party Guy? Good Grades Guy? Well Jesus wants you to be Jesus Guy. He wants you to surrender your desires to him so that he can give you life and righteousness. If you are not a Christian, you are not reading this my mere coincidence. This may be the moment of your calling. If you are already a Christian, remember who you are!
As for me, I hope to continually surrender myself in all areas: financial, school, health, relationships, etc. I have forgotten this truth: all of life is spiritual. Don't categorize your life and remember that the only one who will never face an identity crisis is Jesus.
What is going on here?? I have never identified with the "good student" who strives to get good grades before. I've always relied on my good test taking skills, a small amount of intelligence, and smooth talking my professors to pass my classes. If you're looking for tips on academic success you're reading the wrong blog.
I have, however, identified with other things in the past. I identify with the church. Almost all of my friends go to The Salt Company (the college ministry I go to at ISU) and I spend lots of time devoted to being a leader in that area. So am I a Church Guy? Maybe, but let's examine some other areas I identify with.
I also identify with the military. After all, I am a "warrior and a member of a team" or so I'm told. I see my peers in ROTC everyday and I like them. When we're together I am prone to tailor my attitude and speech to reflect the environment that I'm in. I speak the military jargon (aka tons of acronyms that no one outside of the Army understands) and I'll yell at an underclassman if he does something wrong in true military fashion. So am I an Army Guy? Maybe...
I behave differently in different circumstances so much that my friends even gave me my own alter ego! They have affectionately termed my "other me" Pat Maulsen. Supposedly, anytime that I do anything even slightly socially deviant, Pat has come out to play. This covers a broad variety of situations including but not limited to:
-any time I have had any alcohol
-when I haven't had enough sleep
-when I just wake up and am still groggy
-when I say anything that can be construed as "sassy" (which is about 50% of everything that I say)
So I am faced with an identity crisis! Can I combine them all and say that I'm a Moral-Army-Study-Sassy- Guy? I think that all these different identities unearth a problem that is certainly not unique to me, namely that I tend to divide life in to neat little categories and keep them separate from eachother.
At Salt Company last night, Drew pointed out that this is essentially the same problem that the Corinthian church had in the day of Paul: they lost sight of their true identity. Speaking to the Corinthians on this issue, Paul says:
"Brothers, think of what you were when you were called. Not many of you were wise by human standards; not many were influential; not many were of noble birth. But God chose the foolish things of this world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things- the things that are not- to nullify the things that are so that no one may boast before him. It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus who has become for us wisdom from God- that is our righteousness, holiness, and redemption."
What he is saying is that for Christians, Jesus is our identity. So what does that mean? Do I have to give up my other identities and become Super Church Guy??
Thankfully, no. In fact Jesus hated super church guys and the morally self-righteous. Having an identity in Jesus means that he is my unifying identity. All these other aspects of my life still exist and I can't just give them up and be a "Jesus Freak" (in the weird, in your face, let-me-spit-on-you-to-heal-you sense of the term). What it does mean is that Jesus brings all my identities together and redeems them. So where I was once Lazy Guy, I become Wants To Do His Homework Guy.
If you read my first post, you may remember the verse in Ezekiel where God promises to "remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh." Get it yet? That's a new heart with new desires! You no longer want to do anything that gives Jesus a bad name BECAUSE HE IS YOUR UNIFYING IDENTITY! And this is all encompassing- the unifying identity of Jesus covers all of your sub-identities.
So what are your identities? Are you Moral Guy? Party Guy? Good Grades Guy? Well Jesus wants you to be Jesus Guy. He wants you to surrender your desires to him so that he can give you life and righteousness. If you are not a Christian, you are not reading this my mere coincidence. This may be the moment of your calling. If you are already a Christian, remember who you are!
As for me, I hope to continually surrender myself in all areas: financial, school, health, relationships, etc. I have forgotten this truth: all of life is spiritual. Don't categorize your life and remember that the only one who will never face an identity crisis is Jesus.
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
The Heart of Flesh
Do you have to be a hipster to blog? I don't know. I can honestly say that I never expected to start a blog of my own. I always thought that was the domain of girls and wierd hipster people sitting smugly in their coffee shops. But my dirty little secret is that for a few years now, I have secretly creeped on tons of blogs. In fact, if you and I are friends on Facebook and you have a blog, chances are that I've creeped on your blog hard. Why? Because I love to hear the random ramblings of people trying to figure life out and it turns out that ordinary everyday people sometimes have really insightful and encouraging things to say.
Now, am I claiming that I have anything insightful or encouraging to share? Not really. I just decided on a whim to start a blog because I want to have an outlet for my random thoughts that people probably really don't have the patientce to sit down and listen to face to face. Do I expect anyone to read this? Sadly no. In fact, if even 10 people read this on a regular basis then I would consider it a phenominal success. That being said, this is as much for my own enjoyment as it is for anyone who happens to stumble across it.
I'm making it a goal to post a few things a week. Only time will tell if I can live up to this lofty goal. This is my last full semester of college (I still have summer classes to take but I don't consider that a "real" semester) and I want to try something new to contrast the fact that my college career is old and swiftly coming to an end.
I don't want to make my first post too long, but I will at least mention the reason for the title before I call it a night. The title A Heart of Flesh comes from an amazing verse in the Bible: Ezekiel 36:25-27 which says:
"I will sprinkle clean water on you,, and you will be clean; I will cleanse you from all your impurities and from all your idols. I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh and I will put my Spirit in you and move you to follow my decrees and be careful to keep my laws."
I chose this because I want this project to reflect God moving in my life because I believe that ultimately my life is not my own but that it belongs completely to Jesus. Anyway that's enough for an intro so PEACE OUT!!
Now, am I claiming that I have anything insightful or encouraging to share? Not really. I just decided on a whim to start a blog because I want to have an outlet for my random thoughts that people probably really don't have the patientce to sit down and listen to face to face. Do I expect anyone to read this? Sadly no. In fact, if even 10 people read this on a regular basis then I would consider it a phenominal success. That being said, this is as much for my own enjoyment as it is for anyone who happens to stumble across it.
I'm making it a goal to post a few things a week. Only time will tell if I can live up to this lofty goal. This is my last full semester of college (I still have summer classes to take but I don't consider that a "real" semester) and I want to try something new to contrast the fact that my college career is old and swiftly coming to an end.
I don't want to make my first post too long, but I will at least mention the reason for the title before I call it a night. The title A Heart of Flesh comes from an amazing verse in the Bible: Ezekiel 36:25-27 which says:
"I will sprinkle clean water on you,, and you will be clean; I will cleanse you from all your impurities and from all your idols. I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh and I will put my Spirit in you and move you to follow my decrees and be careful to keep my laws."
I chose this because I want this project to reflect God moving in my life because I believe that ultimately my life is not my own but that it belongs completely to Jesus. Anyway that's enough for an intro so PEACE OUT!!
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