Pat Maulsen Isn't Good Enough

I'm sick.  I got up this morning for my 6am Hermeneutics class feeling like a legitimate zombie.  When I got home, I went straight to sleep and didn't move until about 3pm.  Now, here I sit surrounded by a mountain of used Kleenex with nothing better to do than update my blog.  

I was trying to think of what to write about.  What is going on in my life that could be blog worthy?...................

.......................

..................................

.................................................

I sat here for like 30 minutes before my brain thought of anything other than "man I wish I was asleep right now."

The truth is, there's nothing out of the ordinary going on right now.  My life consists of spending time with high school kids, doing my theology homework, and occasionally working at Woodward.

But I guess in a way that IS kind of note worthy...I work at a church right now!  What's up with that?  Ever since being hired on staff at Cornerstone it has seemed a bit surreal to me.  Why would anyone want me of all people working with high schoolers trying to bring the message of the gospel to people?

Every time I attend a staff meeting, I always feel really under qualified.  These guys have been walking faithfully with God for decades.  Even some of the other staff that are closer to my age feels way beyond where I'm at in terms of maturity and knowledge.  

Does the church even know what they're doing in hiring me??  Don't they know that in high school I got kicked out of a class for insulting my teacher one too many times?  Or that I made a fellow staffer's wife cry in high school because I called her the B-word?  I consistently feel like I know less, fail more, and am less effective and passionate than my co-workers.

But here's the crazy thing...God decided in his sovereignty that I would be on staff at his Church in Ames.  And that's all she wrote.  I don't know why.  I don't know for how long.  I don't know if I'll screw it up or not.  But what I do know is that when I read the Bible I see great heroes of faith who, when they were called initially by God, felt the same way.

Look at Moses- he had a million excuses why he wasn't good enough to go and be God's agent to free the Israelites from Egyptian slavery.  Or David- he was the youngest son of a sheepherder who knew nothing about how to lead a nation when God anointed him King over Israel.  Or what about John the Baptist?  He said that he wasn't even worthy to untie the sandals of Jesus and yet Jesus insisted that John baptize him.

Often times, many of us will be full of self doubt about whether we're "good enough."  Here's the honest to God truth:  NO ONE IS EVER GOOD ENOUGH!!  You.  Me.  Your Mom!  No person that has ever lived has attained the standard to which all men are called: perfection.  But God, for whatever reason, specifically chooses to work through the weaklings of the world- the ones who could do nothing by their own power.  He empowers them and uses them to demonstrate his own glory and ability to work out any weakness for good.

For me, I am encouraged by these passages: 

"Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity." (1 Timothy 4:12)

"If anyone lacks wisdom, he should ask God who gives generously to all without finding fault and it will be given to him." (James 1:5)

The truly important thing is to remember that anything you do, you do not by your own power, but by the power of God.  This should greatly reassure us when we reflect that where we are in life is exactly where God wants us to be.  We may not know the how or the why but we can take solace in the fact that God knows and he desires our ultimate good.

Peace.