The Story of Pat Maulsen

Friday was my birthday!  I turned 22- a completely worthless age to turn.  I guess after 21 nothing special really happens except that you are just a year older.  I assume that once you hit 30, it goes from making you feel more mature to feeling more depressed that you're not in your 20s anymore.  At least I have 8 more years before the depression sets in!

I think at big events like your birthday, or new years, or whatever, it is natural to reflect on how things have been different since your last big shindig.  Or not...maybe I'm the only one that feels that way.  But regardless, I found myself in a spirit of reflection yesterday.  This was particularly enhanced by the fact that Anthem was also on my birthday.
*For anyone who doesn't know; Anthem is a once a semester worship event at my church that draws easily over 1000 worshipers (primarily college students) for a night of awesome (and mostly original) worship.

The theme of Anthem this year was "Pause".  The goal was for people to pause and think about their lives in the midst of a busy season and determine what they were really living for.  Since it coincided with my birthday, it was an excellent opportunity for me to pause and reflect on the past year and where God has taken me.  And more than simply the past year, it's a great chance for me to expound on the direction of my life.  I guess you can consider this my God Story post.

The Early Years

I was raised in a Bible believing, God fearing, church attending household with parents that did their best to teach me about God from a young age.  My mother would make me read my children's bible with her before bed many nights (back in the days when my bible had pictures!).  As a result, I grew up with a healthy helping of knowledge- I knew all the most popular bible stories (my favorite story was the classic David vs. Goliath) and I memorized scripture through my participation in AWANAS (wow that was a long time ago...).  Typical christian upbringing.  Of course, what I had attained in my head, I lacked in my heart; I didn't understand what it all meant and it did nothing to affect my behavior because ultimately, it meant nothing to me.  Even as a youngster, I tended to alienate myself from other kids.  I had one close friend throughout all grade school and middle school and avoided everyone else for the most part.

High School

I particularly disliked high school.  I moved to Muscatine Iowa one year prior to high school and didn't make any friends before my freshman year.  The next three years were mostly the same.  While I was friendly with many people, I was friends with virtually no one.  I particularly hated going to my church youth group: a lot of people from my high school attended but it felt more like a social function than a time of growth and fellowship.  I felt excluded at church functions where cliques would inevitably form.  This made me mad because I felt like church was the one place where I should be included and that wasn't happening.  I had a lot of anger boiling inside which manifested itself as disrespect for authority: my parents and I had a lot of arguments that got pretty heated, and I had a reputation among my peers for talking back to teachers at high school (you can read about one incident in one of my previous posts).  I was lonely, angry, and prideful.  I also wanted nothing to do with a church family who didn't rush to make me feel welcome (see aforementioned pride).  The bottom line was that I was living life in denial- I thought it was all about me.  I didn't drink, smoke, do drugs, or have sexual relations with anyone during high school and I thought this made me a decent dude.  Even though I mentally believed in a god, I didn't believe in capital G God in a way that made him more than a character in a really old book.

When God Slapped Me Upside My Face

Despite my attempts to avoid my youth group, my mom pestered the crap out of me to join a small group and to keep going, so I did just to make her leave me alone.  Joining Tom Allen's small group was a turning point for me.  Tom was a very godly man who took initiative to pour into my life- the first time someone other than my parents had tried to challenge me.  I also really liked the guys in my small group (two of them turned out to be my best friends today).  Tom convinced me to go on a summer retreat that our youth ministry did every year called Xcursion.  It was a week of games, waterboarding, bonding, and worship with peers from the high school ministry.  It was towards the end of the week- we had just heard a powerful presentation of the gospel and I was thinking hard about the direction of my life.  That night, all the guys decided to pitch their sleeping bags outside under the stars rather than stay in their tents.  I was sleeping next to a dude from my small group named Brance.  We were talking about random stuff for a while and then he drew my attention up to the sky.

"Dude...just think about the stars.  Just think: God personally made trillions of them and yet here on this little planet he also made you and me and he knows our names and cares enough about us to send Jesus to die!  That's pretty sweet!"

I couldn't help but agree.  I thought about that for a long time.  After everyone else had fallen asleep, I was still thinking about it.  I was also thinking about my empty life and how much I hated it- all my anger and pride had gotten me no where.  I couldn't stop the flood of tears.  I got on my knees right then and there and prayed to God that He would forgive my wickedness and lead me for the rest of my life.  That was undoubtedly the best decision I ever made.

College 

It would take way too long to tell of all the things that I've learned since college.  I originally attended Carthage College in Kenosha Wisconsin.  I hated it- mostly because of a lack of community.  I was still an immature Christian at that point.  I transferred to Iowa State the next year and loved it.  I got involved in The Salt Company and learned about how to really live for God.  I became a leader and was challenged to really develop my character.  I'd say that the biggest change that God has wrought has been to grant me a variety of relationships with people.  I didn't have many friends in high school and so when, three days ago- on my birthday, I paused to consider the crowd of legitimate brothers and sisters that had gathered in my apartment to celebrate me, I was overwhelmed.

The one thing that God has taught me about relationships in the past four years is that they are not meant for my happiness.

Relationships exist not to make us happy but to make us more holy.


I wish I had figured that out before this year- it would have saved me and a few others a lot of grief.  I love what God has done in my life.  And I love that He has chosen to use other people as the primary catalyst for change.  People that lead me.  People that follow me.  People that struggle along side me.  Even people that irritate me.  They all have served to make me more holy in one way or another.  I can only hope that in some way I have been able to help others towards holiness as well.

And that's my story.  I wish I could tell more of it.  If you're curious, just ask me and we can chat!  Take some time now, at the end of the year to reflect on what God has done in your life.